I doubt they know if I can write or not, it's just that I put my emotions out on the table, without embarrassment. I can't imagine any of them doing that.

I found this, in Ann Marlowe's book about her days of using heroin. "And when you are alienated enough from your feelings to be able to identify with the exterior viewpoint, you decide you're cool."

Only I don't want to be cool, I want my feelings. Good and bad, they're much better than being cool.